A forward, by Richie Longshots:

There was no better feeling in the world than going to a video game store to purchase the newest edition of a sporting video game between the years of 1995 and 2008 (outside of church camp 2007 but that’s a story for another time). You just shelled out all your birthday money and now you’re in the car. You rip open the shrink wrap with your teeth and pop open the game, stare at it for a moment, and instantly grab the video game manual. 

Now some of you who were born after 9/11 have NO idea what I’m talking about, but there used to be 40-page manuals for games breaking down every controller option, game mode, and everything in between. While you were doing this, your mind would be racing about what your first step would be. Create a player? Season mode? Trade Tom Brady to the Raiders so I can feel joy again? You had time to decide this and plan your attack for when you get home.

Now? You wake up and the game is there (Jon Manson was shocked that this was how it worked). No time to take it all in, no time to yell at your dad for not gunning it at a yellow light so you can play, and no time to run into the house with a new game for the first time. 

The time to start planning is now. You need a game plan for when you fire up the game and hear those magical words and the fight songs kick in.

 

 

Change the Difficulty Setting to Rookie (Freshman?) and Play Against JMU

Before we get started on the Dukes — thank you, Richie, for kicking us off. It’s an honor to share a WordPress editing page with you.

Alright, let’s hate on the Dukes real quickly.

Show me a man who says he’s never played on the easiest game setting and I’ll show you a liar. Look, we all must relearn this game somehow and what better way to do it than by putting up 135 points vs JMU at The Bill?

It’s commonly known that this year’s game will be the first to feature real, accurate names of college athletes. However, that’s a moot point for the Dukes as their roster will be completely unrecognizable after this past offseason. Currently, I can’t name a single player on their team, but I will after the same DB gets torched by Kaidon Salter for 935 passing yards and 17 touchdowns. The Freedom Tower will be lighting up so frequently, it will need a sensory advisory warning.

Call me a hater, and you would probably be correct, but this is my calling before anything else on the game. We’ve waited years for Liberty Football to *officially* be playable on a video game and I’ll have Alan York saying “Light ‘Em Up” so many times, it’ll lose its meaning. (does he still say that?)

 

Lose an Online Game to a Literal Child

We all know the saying — Father Time is undefeated. That applies to video games, as well. We need to accept that it’s only a matter of time until the next generation is better at everything we are passionate about.

Have you been on Twitch or YouTube recently? 12-year-old esports athletes (yes, they are athletes) have created the greatest skill gap since Kareem was banned from dunking on part-time plumbers in the 1960s. This will not be a fair match.

If you’re like me, you may jump on PlayStation to get away from the real world from time-to-time. Let me be the first to warn you, be prepared to be labeled every name in the book and hear rude things about your mother from a prepubescent kid during an online match. If not, these children will trigger panic attacks and have you end up in therapy like Tony Soprano.

But hey, at the end of the day, I’m the one with the full-time job and they’ll be starting 7th grade in a couple months. So, who’s the real winner? Probably still them, tbh. 

 

Coach at Coastal Carolina, Win a Ton of Games, and Leave for Liberty (along with $4 million a year)

This specific venture was suggested by everybody’s best friend (outside of a few twitter users) and author of the intro to this blog, Richie Longshots. And, let’s be honest, the rest of this would be 10x better if he was the author. But here we are.

Now, it may come as a surprise that a Liberty alum/fan may want to play with the Chanticleers. But don’t you worry — just like being at Coastal Carolina, this is not the end goal.

Coastal and Liberty have a multi-decade-long, yet admittedly odd, rivalry that surfaced at the FCS level. We all know that. But what better way to assert your dominance as a rival than by stealing their most accomplished head coach in program history while flipping all their recruits? That’ll be me this time around.

I can’t lie to you, playing in the Sun Belt sounds like a dream and I will take full advantage of the fun schedule by beating up on some of the best G5 programs in the country. Are you kidding? Playing a meaningful conference game in Boone or destroying the Dukes (again, a hater) is always a good time.

The plan is to use Coastal as the stepping-stone job that it is and ultimately be named the head coach of the prestigious Flames.

Side note: If I manage to take the Chants to the CFP National Championship Game, I will intentionally lose. They can’t have that one.

 

 

Road to Glory Kicker

You might ask, “Jake, why would you waste your time playing as a kicker after a decade-long hiatus of this EA video game franchise?” That’s a good question. Here’s why:

I like my video games to have a mixture of both realism and fantasy. Let’s be honest here — creating myself as any other position would be so wildly fantastical that I’m not even sure the game would allow it. Even being a place kicker sounds too good to be true. The last time I attempted a kick in the Indoor Practice Facility, I pulled a hamstring (true story). But let’s move on.

Think about all the incredible moments Liberty has experienced from their kickers. I’ll never forget Austin Barbir’s game-winner at Lane Stadium or (redacted)’s kick on Homecoming vs Richmond. We know that being a kicker isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. It certainly comes with its lows, but those highs are glorious.

Also, imagine this: Every time the Flames cross the 40-yard-line, I’m calling for a field goal attempt. First down, second down, sixth down — I don’t care. I’m kicking the dang ball. My player is going to make so many 3-pointers that Darius McGhee is going to look like Ben Simmons. After my sophomore year, Chad is going to have to drop so much NIL money for me to stay on The Mountain that the rest of the roster will be filled with 60 overall players. If he doesn’t, I’m heading to Alabama or submitting a waiver to enter the League a year early.

And who knows, maybe I’ll call for a fake every now and again (I won’t).

Note: I’m being told that playing as a kicker is not an option within Road to Glory. No worries — I will create a 99 OVR player with a leg made of gold and place him on the Flames.

 

Win the Natty

C’mon. We all knew this one was coming. This is something every Liberty fan needs to accomplish this summer.

Remember during Covid (it’s over, right?) when Big Cat worked day-in and day-out to win a national championship with Coach Duggs? That’ll be all of us this week with KSalt and the Flames. And if Virginia Tech claimed that National Championship, why can’t we?

Jokes aside, I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to play as the Flames for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I’d play at the Vines Center in the college basketball video games, but the idea of selecting Liberty on a college football video game always felt too far-fetched. I continuously remind myself to avoid taking for granted how far this athletic program has come since becoming an undergrad student in the early 2010s.

I love listening to the stories from Jon and Chad (along with many others) about the days where no one cared to come out to Williams Stadium for a football game. Now, not only are we in an FBS conference, but we are also competing at levels that seemed unimaginable several years ago.

I cannot wait to lift the virtual CFP Trophy wearing the red, white, and navy blue for the first time.